It’s one day before my 32nd birthday and while this is usually nothing to care about, it really does something with me today. Recent times have been though in almost every aspect of my life and I’m looking forward to some improvements in the next year of my existence. I told myself the exactly same at new years day, but it hasn’t worked out yet. So here we go again, hoping for better luck. There are some life changes coming up in the next year and I’m right in the middle between scared and exited, so it’s hard to be unconditionially optimistic.

Recent times are challenging in many ways. In the political world: Trump is back and more furious then ever, our German government has been fallen apart and the next elections looking like a possible right-wing success. As well in my personal world: I deteste my current job for what it has been in the last months and my personal fitness is declining as my participation in sport activities is at an all-time low. Oh, and photography, that’s the thing I better don’t want to put pressure on, so no expectations which I can’t fulfill and therefore no progress at the moment.

So far this sounds really pessimistic, but it’s better than it looks from here. A few weeks ago, friends asked me to make some pictures of their self-build travel van, before they leave for an month-long journey through Europe. Never found myself beeing a car enthusiast or photographically interested in the subject, I tried to give my best to help them, already honored by them for asking me. The short story: it was fun, I really found myself enjoying the look of the car and in the end I was happy with the results. And so have been the owners, who are now driving south from here to Portugal.

I brought the essay “Regarding the pain of others” by Susan Sonntag with me, because it’s half-read for a long time and the other book I’m currently reading was left at my workplace. I read the “On photography” essay collection by her last year and added this book to my collecction, after I saw it at a museum shop in Paris last autumn. “Reading for 30 minutes right after waking up, helps me to cope with the daily task and not loosing the feeling for time in this hectical times.” or likewise was stated by an article from the german journalists of Krautreporter. So did I, not after waking up, but after arriving at the café.

Maybe it’s just an excuse, but I can’t get myself to do this kind of things at home. To many things and tasks there are crying for my attention, leaving me stunned and not doing anything besides these exogenic tasks. So I’m really happy having multiple café in the vincinity to use them as my office. It comes with a price, which is 4,00 € for a coffee (including tips) and an exposure of myself to other people. Nevertheless, and with the help of noise-cancelling earphones, I’m able to get into a flow, which I never find at home. And so it’s me sitting here, writing a blog post instead of looking for job offers, but feeling content for the first time in a long while. Let’s see, what my birthday brings tomorrow.